Title: my attraction to femdom
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Blog Entry: This blog is my approach to femdom, bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. The short story: Bondage: I like being bound and helpless, whether it is leather, rope, or metal restricting me Discipline: I like a variety of sensations. I particularly enjoy being disciplined physically, feeling your hands pull my hair or clench or beat parts of my body, feeling your foot pressing against me or kicking me, feeling your teech on sensitive parts of my body. Dominance and submission: I desire to submit to your dominance. Sadism: I prefer to play with someone that enjoys controlling and inflicting pain on me. Masochism: I'm not a true masochist, someone who enjoys feeling pain. However, I am very empathic and if you are getting enjoyment through my suffering, I will willingly sacrifice myself for your enjoyment. The longer story: When I was 7, I was tied up by a pair of 7 year old girls during recess. They tied me up with scarves (winter time) and hooded/blindfolded me with a knit hat pulled down. I have been attracted to female domination for a long time. I remember being tied up in the second grade by a pair of 2nd grade girls. I remember enjoying that experience. I also remember an attraction to Catwoman from the Batman TV show. My attraction to hoods comes from superhero shows and comic books. I remember as a junior in high school, hearing a rumor that one of my classmates had a whip and hand cuffs. I wanted so badly to volunteer to be her victim, but I was so shy and afraid to approach her about it. My attraction to bdsm has had an impact on my ability to form vanilla relationships. On the one hand, I don't want a vanilla relationship -- I'd much rather submit to a woman than have vanilla sex with her -- on the other hand, I do have many vanilla urges even if they are less important to me (I'd like to have a relationship, children, etc.). In college in the late 80's, my exposure to bdsm came from phone sex calls to 1-900- numbers (recordings). I also read periodicals such as Dominant Mystique, Dominant View, etc. that had dominatrix ads and articles. And I read online forums through Prodigy and similar online services. In college, like high school, I still did not find anyone in the bdsm scene. I did not seek out vanilla relationships, because I knew that was not what I needed. In the early 90's, I attended graduate school. It was at the end of my graduate school education, that I encountered BBSs online. I found out about a local bdsm munch that sponsored by the BBS. I met several people through that munch, played with Dominant women for the first time, and found out about Black Rose and other local bdsm oportunities. That brings us up to 1994. I've had a number of influences since then, but those were the foundational influences.
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